


All I Ask

by DiamondWinters, Ishxallxgood



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Comfort Sex, Episode 12 Fight, M/M, Power bottom Viktor, Smut, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-22
Updated: 2017-02-22
Packaged: 2018-09-26 06:05:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9870767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DiamondWinters/pseuds/DiamondWinters, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ishxallxgood/pseuds/Ishxallxgood
Summary: A song fic done toAdele's - All I AskTakes place during the fight at the beginning of Episode 12.“Yuuri,” Viktor said, the name lacking the normal inflection he usually added to it, it sounded flat, dead, like his heart.  “Why don’t we just play pretend.  Like we’re not scared of what’s coming next, or scared of having nothing left…”Yuuri opened his mouth to protest, but Viktor held out his hand, signaling for him to stop.  He didn’t want to hear it, whatever it was the younger man, his other half, had to say, he knew it wouldn’t be the one thing he wanted to hear.“Look, don’t get me wrong.  I know there is no tomorrow,” he continued, choking on that last word.  “All I ask is, if this is my last night with you… hold me like I’m more than just a friend…” The tears slipped out again.  “Give me a memory I can use… take me by the hand while we do what lovers do… it matters how this ends…” Viktor swallowed the sob that threatened to escape from him, Viktor Nikiforov doesn’t sob.  “Because what if I never love again?”





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



“You know what, forget it.” Viktor said removing his hands from Yuuri's shoulders.  Standing up straight, he turned his back toward the one thing he wanted to grasp onto more than anything he had ever wanted in life, his eyes trained deliberately onto the traffic moving down below.

 

“Viktor…” Yuuri’s voice was small and weak, and he trembled when the Russian refused to acknowledge him.

 

Time slipped slowly by, and the seconds felt like hours, the silence deafening, and the two feet of space between them felt like a chasm too wide to ever cross.  Viktor could feel the tears still falling, unsure of what to do about them, crying was not really his thing, but how could he not mourn the end of something so beautiful.  What was he supposed to do now?  Certainly not skate, without Yuuri there would be nothing left for him to give, nothing at all.  The shell of a former god, greatness reduced to nothing.

 

Chancing a glance at the Japanese man's reflection, Viktor took a deep breath when he caught that pained expression on his face. His heart clenched within him as he slowly turned around and settled back down on the window sill across from the one thing he never wanted to let go of ever.  “I will leave my heart at the door.  I won’t say a word, they’ve all been said before you know.” the Russian offered solemnly, his voice barely above a whisper.

 

Yuuri glanced up at him, warm chocolate eyes meeting icy blue ones that were empty, lacking their usual shine, and a lump formed in his throat.  It killed him to see Viktor like this, but he knew he saw it earlier; that spark in the older man's eye when he was watching Yuri skate, when he was watching Christophe skate.  Viktor, the living legend of male figure skating missed it, the ice, the competition, being the best, surprising the world.  Yuuri refused to be the one to keep him from all that, from the thing he loved and sustained him for so long.

 

“Yuuri,” Viktor said, the name lacking the normal inflection he usually added to it, it sounded flat, dead, like his heart.  “Why don’t we just play pretend.  Like we’re not scared of what’s coming next, or scared of having nothing left…”

 

Yuuri opened his mouth to protest, but Viktor held out his hand, signaling for him to stop.  He didn’t want to hear it, whatever it was the younger man, his other half, had to say, he knew it wouldn’t be the one thing he wanted to hear.

 

“Look, don’t get me wrong.  I know there is no tomorrow,” he continued, choking on that last word.  “All I ask is, if this is my last night with you… hold me like I’m more than just a friend…” The tears slipped out again.  “Give me a memory I can use… take me by the hand while we do what lovers do… it matters how this ends…” Viktor swallowed the sob that threatened to escape from him, Viktor Nikiforov doesn’t sob.  “Because what if I never love again?”

 

The last line came out in almost a whisper, and Yuuri wasn’t sure if he had heard it correctly, but the rest of his words resounded in Yuuri’s mind, buried their way into his soul.  He wasn’t even sure what he had meant when he said he wanted to end this, what was this?  Their professional relationship?  Their personal relationship?  God the last thing he wanted in the world was to lose Viktor, he didn’t want to let Viktor go, but how could he not?  It was killing him inside to know that he was the reason the Viktor Nikiforov wasn’t skating anymore.  

 

When he looked up into Viktor’s cerulean eyes again he felt as if he was drowning. Drowning in the tears which swam in his eyes, in the tears still fresh in the Russian's eyes, in that swarm of emotion which enveloped them, suffocating them.  “Viktor…” He tried again, this time, the tiniest hint of warmth flooded into those cold, dead eyes as he wrapped all the love he had for that man around his name.  “I… I never meant it like that… honest…”

 

“Goddamn it Yuuri,” Viktor growled, the pain breaking through in his voice.  “I don’t need your honesty,  it’s already in your eyes, and I’m sure my eyes, they speak for me.  No one, knows me like you do… and since you’re the only one that matters, tell me, who do I run to?”

 

Yuuri let out a small gasp as the perfectly sculpted man before him clutched at his robe, that sob he had been trying to swallow the whole night escaping him as his whole body shook.  “Please, Yuuri… I’m begging you,” his voice trembled with emotion, unable to hold back the soft sobs, “if this is truly going to be my last night with you… please hold me like I’m more than just your coach… I need a memory I can use…”

 

Reaching out a hand, Yuuri brushed the tears from Viktor’s face before lifting his chin ever so slightly and crushed his lips onto Viktor’s.  

 

The kiss was brief, and when Yuuri pulled back, he saw a glimmer of hope reflected in the Russian’s eyes. Without saying a word, he stood, and reached a hand out to the god sitting before him. Viktor looked up at him, but Yuuri couldn’t read his expression, it was not an expression the young man had ever seen displayed on that beautiful face before. There was so much pain, so much hope, anger and disappointment, everything held together under a mask of indifference, like he didn't want Yuuri to know what it was he was truly feeling. The mask broke Yuuri's heart, Viktor had always been such an opened book with him, saving his masks for the outside world.

 

Without saying a word, Yuuri tentatively slipped his hands underneath Viktor’s robe, his fingertips burning as they ghosted Viktor's skin. Gliding them upward along the man’s chest and up over his shoulders, he pushed the robe back, the belt loosely tied around his waist slipping away and the whole thing glided off the taller man’s body, crumpling onto the floor in a heap. His heart was pounding, his fingers trembled, and his eyes stung from the tears threatening to fall. He didn’t want to let Viktor go, ever, he never truly wanted this to ever end, but how could he claim he loved him if he were to keep him from the one thing that gave him life. So he would give him this, this night of memories, and show, not the world, but Viktor alone just how much he truly loved him.

 

He brought Viktor’s right hand up, and placed a soft kiss on the gold band before pulling him forward, the Russian crashing against him in a sweet kiss. Viktor wrapped his arms around him, pulling him in tight in an effort to close that gap which still hung between them, despite the absence of space, as they deepened their kiss. The hold on him slackened as nimble hands were soon slipping under Yuuri’s black and gray sweatshirt pulling it up and over his head, cerulean eyes watching hungrily as he slipped his pants down and off.

 

Stepping back, with Viktor’s hand in his again, Yuuri pulled them down onto the bed. Falling onto his back, he gazed up into a galaxy of blue eyes, wanting to get lost in their brilliance forever. A feeling of despair consuming him as he registered how they didn't sparkle as bright as they normally did, muted due to the overwhelming grief and heartbreak. Emotions that Yuuri had planted within them.

 

By all rights, Yuuri would have been nervous, his anxiety should have taken over and made him unsure of himself, and the situation. Especially considering the fact that this was going to be the first time he would ever be this intimate with another being, but this was Viktor he had in his arms. Viktor who he had fantasized about for so many years, Viktor who had breathed new life into him, Viktor who he trusted with his soul, and so his hands never wavered as they pulled Viktor down onto him.  Yuuri didn't feel squeamish or uncomfortable as the other man laid his naked form over him, in fact it felt right. Like this is where Viktor belonged, draped over brilliant eyes bearing into his soul.

 

All the excitement, the joy, the bliss that should have enveloped them the first time they came together was shrouded with sorrow, an unmistakable pain of loss of something before it even truly began. Yuuri let out a weak laugh, for if he didn't he would have cried.  Everything hinged on this one moment, the tiny sliver of hope which wrapped itself around the two of them as their bodies intertwined.

 

Their bodies came together as if they were two halves of one whole, split apart during the creation of time, just so they could find each other again, specifically to complete each other. Their legs rested comfortably between each other, hips slotted just right against one another, chest to chest, face to face. Yuuri ran his hands up Viktor’s side, letting his fingertips gently caresse the soft skin wanting nothing more than to memorize every ridge, and crevice of the older man’s body.  He watched the Russian’s expression carefully for any sign of regret or pleasure, for hesitation or encouragement. The man instead chose to closed his eyes, shutting Yuuri out from his thoughts and instead leaned down to give him the gentlest of kisses. The kiss was different than any other kiss Yuuri had received this far. It felt as if all of Viktor’s love was poured out into that one kiss, and it caused a tightness to form in Yuuri’s chest, as the tears spilled from his eyes.

 

Viktor for his part roamed his hands all over the body beneath him, exploring the man he had longed to touch  for so long. He could barely breath as his lover’s arms circled around his body, touching him, loving him, mapping out every inch of his body. That one kiss turned into many, each one filled with as much emotion as they could express without using actual words. As their hands continued exploring each other, those gentle touches turned into desperate caresses, those gentle kisses turning into passionate declarations of possession. Yuuri pressed his head back into the pillows as Viktor nipped along his jaw, and down his neck, a small moan escaping his lips, as the Russian explored his neck and collarbone, marking him as he saw fit.

 

Their hips rocked against each other, building friction which would elicit moans from both of them as they moved in sync with each other. Yuuri lifted his left leg up, allowing Viktor to press down upon him more firmly, his hands wrapped around the man’s shoulders, fingers digging into his back, pulling him as close as possible, as his lover continued his exploration of his body with his mouth and lips. Viktor then ran a hand along Yuuri’s raised leg, pulling it up and closer to his body, and then slipped between them to run his fingers down along the length of Yuuri’s aching erection. The touch causing the man beneath him to gasp and arch into his hand.

 

He nipped his way down Yuuri's chest, pausing to place a loving kiss where the younger man’s heart beat beneath his lips. A tear slipped from his eye, landing where his lips were when he raised his head slightly, feeling his own heart clenched as the realization that this will be one of the last times he'll hear that perfect strum dawned upon him. That steady beat of the force that gave life to what he loved most would be lost to him forever, and if he could he would record it just so he could skate a whole program to the steady beating of Yuuri's heart.

 

Viktor trailed his lips down as his hand continued to firmly slide and tug unraveling the body beneath him, causing Yuuri to jerk and writhe with pleasure. He doesn’t ever want to stop his exploration, not until he has learned all there was to learn about Yuuri Katsuki. He needed to know every curve, every dip, every line, every edge. He needed to know what made him gasp, what made him moan, what made him scream Viktor's name like it was the only thing that could save him from hell. He needed to taste every last inch of skin and burn into his mind every part of the man who dares to exist as the most beautiful creature he had ever laid his eyes upon.

 

For a moment, memories flashed behind his closed eyes and he was filled with soft smiles and bright laughter, with hugs of celebration and tears of frustration. Memories of months together, laughing fighting, working, playing, learning each other and just basking in each other's company. It was nearly enough to break him, destroy him from the inside out, when his name is whispered by the one person he would go to hell and back for, he is pulled back to the present.

 

“Viktor,” Yuuri breathed as hands found their way into soft silver locks of hair. It was unfair how tantalizingly beautiful that man was, how a mere mortal could possibly be so damn perfect.

 

Looking up, Viktor was immediately taken aback by the raw beauty that was Yuuri looking back down at him with half lidded eyes. Catching his stare, Yuuri’s face suddenly flushed with desire, mouth slightly ajar after he sensually licked at his lips, and his molton brown eyes opening wide, alight with want as he gazed back at him. The image nearly sent Viktor over the edge right there and then, and then suddenly hands are pulling him up, and he carefully pushed himself back up to recapture those soft, moist lips with his once more.

 

After a feverish kiss, those same soft lips murmured against his own, “I need you.”

 

Viktor obliged him, and kissed the man senseless with more emotion than he even knew he possessed. Attempting to convey the same message back, when he heard his lover moan, “I want you.”

 

Viktor could no longer stop the tears from sliding down his cheeks as he continued to weakly kiss the man who captured his heart and soul almost a year ago, and his heart felt as if it was going to tear itself out of his body at Yuuri’s final whimper of, “Make love to me.”

 

It was all he’d ever wanted to do.  Show Yuuri his love.  Take that man into his arms and reveal to him caresses meant only for him, to show him that passion which burned inside of him that Yuuri, and only Yuuri could ever quench, to be unravelled by Yuuri and take all he had to offer.  God those were words he wanted to hear since he politely refused the drunken man at the banquet three hundred and sixty one days ago, and now, the night before he wanted to end it, they finally spilled out of his mouth.

 

With a sob, he kissed his Yuuri with everything he had inside of him, and pressed down against him with all of his body in the hopes that somehow, someway, that man beneath him will finally understand what he meant to the this simple Russian. That he was no god atop some pedestal the world had perched him upon, but a desperate man who only wanted to be loved, and to love in return.

 

Responding to the kiss, Yuuri reached up and ran a hand across Viktor’s face, swiping away the tears before sliding it down, capturing Viktor’s hand along the way, dragging it down over their bodies as he nipped at Viktor’s ear and breathed, “I want to feel you inside me.”

 

Viktor lost all sense of reason, his mind ceasing to function for a moment as a shiver ran through his body.  Collecting himself he pulled his hand out of Yuuri’s and gently shook his head no, much to Yuuri’s dismay.

 

“Yuuri,” he purred, the name rolling off his tongue, “Not tonight, not when you have to skate tomorrow.” Reaching over, he retrieved the small bottle of lube and condom he had hidden in the side table earlier, in the constant hope that Yuuri would want to move their relationship to the next level. “Tonight I want you inside me, I want you to fill me up and chase away that emptiness inside.”

 

Yuuri nodded weakly, wishing he could take back those words he spoke what felt like ages ago. In that moment he was ready to give Viktor anything he wanted, even his retirement, if this is what spending the rest of his life with Viktor meant.

 

Viktor gazed down at the center of his universe, chocolate brown eyes filled with love and trust gazed up back at him as he popped open the bottle of lube and squeezed some onto Yuuri’s hand. Once Yuuri’s fingers were slick, he guided them down between their bodies, mindful of his approach as this was all still new to Yuuri.  He slid their hands down until he could feel Yuuri slide a finger along the perineal line leading to his waiting entrance. He watched loving as his partner’s eyes widened with surprise and wonderment. Yuuri circled a finger around the hole, as if asking for permission, and the silver haired man smiled back softly, nodding slightly to confirm he was ready. Lust over taking his body, Yuuri let out that trademark Eros smirk of his as he gently pushed in, sliding the digit as far in as it would go.

 

Viktor couldn’t stop the quiet moan which escaped him, or keep his eyes from fluttering closed at the feel of the wonderful intrusion to his aching body. Yuuri, although inexperienced, seemed to know exactly what to do, and glided his finger in and out of his body at a steady pace.  When he suddenly curled his digit, Viktor’s head shot backwards seeing stars as a bolt of pleasure shot through his body. His breath hitched before quickening when a second finger was inserted and they began to work to open him. The Russian couldn’t help but rock his hips to the moment, never in his life had he felt such pleasure, not one of his previous lovers even came close to the pure bliss he was experiencing and all Yuuri had were two fingers in him. At some point his muscles have must have loosened up enough and a third finger was added, Yuuri expertly curling them as he hit that small mound of heaven hidden deep within his body.

 

“Yuuri, please,” he begged, panting, wanting, needing more.

 

Meeting Viktor’s eye, Yuuri leaned up and pressed his lips onto Viktor’s as he carefully tore open the package beside him, rolling the condom on and slicking up his length as Viktor moved to give him access. Shifting his body over, Viktor straddled the beautiful man beneath him and slowly lowered himself onto him, eliciting a moan.  Placing his hands onto his partner’s thighs, Yuuri watched in fascination as Viktor rocked his hips, occasionally lifting them only to come crashing back down.

They soon found their rhythm, and Yuuri’s hands moved up to Viktor’s hips, fingers digging into his pale skin, hard enough to bruise as their bodies collided against each other time and time again. The sounds of their love making echoing across the room was euphoric, invoking louder moans and sharper intakes of breath.

  
Needing to feel even more of Viktor, Yuuri pushed his hips up, bringing his knees up, as Viktor arched his back, his face raised towards the ceiling, his hands coming down, pressed upon Yuuri’s chest in an attempt to steady himself.

 

“Yuuri,” Viktor whimpered, causing him to look up, to find the Russian's eyes rolled back, mouth slightly hanging open, breaths coming in pants, and tears streaming down his face.

 

The sight honestly took Yuuri’s breath away. To know that he was the source of Viktor’s undoing, that it was him who had turned Viktor into this panting mess on top of him, that it was him, and him alone who was capable of giving this kind of pleasure to God’s gift to the world, nearly took him over the edge.

 

“Viktor… I’m close,” he moaned, as he felt that coil in his lower abdomen tighten.

 

“Cum for me lyubov moya,” Viktor encouraged breathlessly, and the way he clenched around Yuuri, the younger man could tell he was just as close.

 

Pulling Viktor down, he kissed the man passionately as he pressed even higher, the need to fill his lover up insatiable. He felt as Viktor slid a hand between them to tug at his own cock, and when he felt the man tighten around him his mind exploded. Lights flashed behind his eyelids from the sheer force of the orgasm that wracked his body. Then the man in his arms trembled as his own orgasm washed over him and Yuuri’s name was chanted softly into the night.

 

Soon their movements came to still and they lied there panting and sweaty with Yuuri’s arms wrapped tightly around Viktor’s body, holding him close. Viktor buried his head into the crook of Yuuri’s neck, leaving rough kisses on the bare skin of the man’s throat, marking him just under where his collar would rise to, while clinging on to him as best as he could. When Yuuri softened completely, Viktor lifted his body, allowing Yuuri to slip out.  Tying off the condom he tossed it in the general direction of the trash bin, making a mental note to properly dispose of it later and pulled the sheets off the adjacent bed, cleaning off their bodies as best as he could before lying down next to his source of life, curling himself around the smaller man.

 

Snaking an arm under Yuuri’s neck and the other around his waist, Viktor pulled him closer against him, as he took a deep breath, inhaling Yuuri’s scent as he rested his chin against the Japanese man’s shoulder.  “Yuuri,” He whispered softly in his ear, feeling the shiver that ran down his spine.  “Let this be our lesson in love… let this be the way we remember us.” Squeezing his eyes shut he refused to let any more tears fall.

 

Shifting in his arms, Yuuri turned to face the love of his life, as he ran a hand against his pale skin, wondering why it was he made such a foolish decision to throw all this away.  “I’m sorry.”

 

“No, don’t.” Viktor replied sharply, “I don’t want to be cruel or vicious, but I’m not asking for forgiveness.  You’ve already given me more than I could ever wanted in life… and then so cruelly ripped it away.  So unless your next words are going to be, ‘ _I was foolish, I would never retire and demand for you to go back onto that cold unforgiving ice alone_ ,’ I don’t want to hear it.”

 

Yuuri dropped his head and stared blankly at the chest which was heaving before his eyes.  Could he say that?  Would it be so wrong to want both the ice and Viktor at the same time?  But he couldn’t possibly put that kind of stress onto Viktor, coaching and skating at the same time, it was an impossibility.  He refused to be the one to kill Viktor as a competitive skater, but if the alternative was to kill Viktor as a person, he wasn’t sure if that was a solution he could accept either.

 

“Hey Viktor,” Yuuri murmured softly, fresh tears springing from his eyes.

 

“Hmm?” Viktor hummed, as he pulled Yuuri against him again, the tone of his voice disarming him.

 

“I was thinking, maybe we can decide after my free skate…”

 

The hand that was running circles across Yuuri’s back froze, words escaping him as he stared down at the exquisite man in his arms.  Looking up, Yuuri captured his gaze and trailed a hand across his face.  “If that’s okay with you…” He added, Viktor nodding into his hand.

 

“Yes.” Viktor breathed, burying his face into Yuuri’s hair.  “A thousand times yes.”  Relief washed over him, and although the future was still bleak, there was now a glimmer of hope where darkness once stood.

 

**Author's Note:**

> lyubov moya= my love in Russian.


End file.
